All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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