I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
