Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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