Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
