god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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