you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
