just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
