i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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