We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
