I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
