i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
