My brain says no but my pants say off.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
