Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
