I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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