fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize