Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
