I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
