Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
