I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize