I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
