Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
