Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You're like the curious george of whores
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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