im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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