I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
