VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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