that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
