I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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