I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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