He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
