Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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