I don't think brook has ever known best
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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