Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
