Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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