Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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