Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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