I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
this just has baby written all over it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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