Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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