ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We talked him into tasing himself.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
