I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Someone signed my nipple.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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