She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
