I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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