No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I am mentally ready for anal.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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