So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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