carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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