I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
