..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
