In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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