am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
