her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
