just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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