all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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