You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
