i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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