Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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