His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
