She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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