I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
