I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize