well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
